A few years ago I decided that instead of just the basic birthday celebration for my kids (and husband too) that I would go a bit further. Birthday Donuts. Yep, birthday donuts - a treat that we don't buy very often so it was perfect. The birthday boy gets a special donut on the morning of his birthday on our special "happy birthday" plate that I made a few years back at the pottery place in town complete with a candle for him to blow out as I sing "Happy Birthday" at the breakfast table. Sounds great, huh? Well it is and they really enjoy it - all except maybe for my singing. I enjoy really making the birthday boy feel special on his special day.
But what happens when I forget? Oh yea, I forgot. To be real honest (here comes my excuse, lol) last week was very busy. I had a house to clean before company came over this past weekend, I had a cake to bake, birthday presents and supplies for a small family party to buy. My oldest son had a total 5 soccer games spread out over 3 days and soccer practice like normal all the other days of the week/weekend and games to referee over the weekend. My youngest son had soccer practice and soccer games. We were planning for a sleepover and bonfire and coordinating how I was getting all the boys to their games on time and.... I forgot. I meant to run and get the donuts on Saturday after the third soccer game was over but my head hurt and I needed to go home and oh yea, I forgot. I forgot about the donuts. I didn't mean to but I did.
I forgot about the donuts until Sunday morning, the day of my baby boys actual birthday. And not just any birthday, his 13th birthday. The birthday where he officially turns into a teenager. This momma was really hoping that he would just forget about this "family birthday tradition" at least this year. We were in a rush as usual and trying to get out the door in time to get to church. I quickly made him a small bottle of milk and grabbed a granola bar from the pantry. When we all got in the van to head to church I reached behind me and handed him his milk and a granola bar and it was then that the look on his face told me quickly that he had not forgot. Though he didn't say a word, the look on his face and in his eyes showed total disappointment. I said nothing. We went on to church. The day went on.
Late in the evening when I was loving on my boy, I apologized to him. I still didn't say anything to him about his breakfast and although we had a party with family and few friends on Friday evening I felt like I didn't do enough or make a big enough deal of his actual birthday. It was then he looked me right in the eyes and pressed his nose against mine and said "you forgot my donuts". This momma felt like a dog. I then apologized for the donuts and explained that mommy had good intentions to get them but ultimately I forgot. He was so forgiving and understanding and said "that's ok" which I was thankful for but I knew deep inside it bothered him. I knew deep inside he was disappointed.
So today, the day after his birthday I ran out and bought him a dozen glazed donuts and one special donut with sprinkles just for him.
They were more of an after school snack this time but I think he was happy, even if they were late.
And to you dear mommy, even when you mess up or when things don't go exactly like you might have planned - forgive yourself and move on. If given the opportunity do something else to help smooth things over, go for it but if you can't don't be so hard on yourself. Our kids love us and even when they are disappointed they will forgive.
Have you ever been in a place where you have disappointed your kiddos?