Feeling Loved and Accepted

This weeks chapter is about feeling loved and accepted. 

What makes you feel loved?  What makes you feel accepted?  I grew up in a home where deep down inside I knew that I was loved and looking back now as an adult I KNOW for sure that I was loved but there were many days where chaos reigned in our home, mostly between my older brothers and my dad and that spilled over onto my mother and me.  I grew up wandering a lot of times if my dad was even capable of "love".  The love was there and compared to alot of dysfunctional families, growing up in my house was a dream but for me it didn't feel that way and I didn't feel love like I should have.  Notice I said, I didn't feel loved. 
 
Feel (v) means : to seem to yourself to be in a particular physical or emotional state

To seem to yourself.  Sometimes we feel something to be true even when it really isn't.  Sometimes though unfortunately for some children the feelings are real and the situation is bleak for them. 

The day I got married, before the doors opened for me to walk down the isle I was alone with my dad and I told him I loved him.  He in return told me that he loved me.  We both "choked" up as this happened.  See, for me that was the first time I could remember my dad telling me that.  Oh, I am sure at various times growing up he told me but I could not remember any of those times probably because they were clouded by some unhappy childhood memories. 

I have made it a point from day one of having kids that I tell them "I love you" everyday and I "love" on them.  A hug, a kiss on the cheek, a cuddle before bed, a rub on the back or pat on the shoulder - all signs of love and affection for my precious boys that God as entrusted me with. 

What happens when we don't feel loved and accepted?

*  We fall in with the wrong crowd at school  because they accept us and we end up doing things we normally wouldn't. 
*  We experiment with drugs and alcohol to help us attempt to cover or hide the "feelings" of being rejected.
*  We have sexual relations with people when we know we really shouldn't but it's hard to walk away from someone showing you this very close kind of love and acceptance - even if it's not really love.  But to a young person it "feels" that way. 

When our children do not get what they need at home from us they will go looking for it in other people and places.  Remember even if the love and acceptance is there for your children they may not "feel" it and it is our job to make sure they do.

Some things we can do to help our children feel loved and accepted.

*  Pray for your children to feel loved and accepted.  Pray that God would open their minds and hearts to you and that they would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved. 
*  Praise your children.
*  Love on them and tell them you love them.  Don't just assume they know you love them!  Kids (and adults) need to be told these special "3 little words".
*  Spend time with them.  Quality and Quantity - both matter.
*  Do special things with them and for them.

What about you?  Have you ever personally felt rejection?  What are some things you do to show your children they are loved and accepted?

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From the Book

(The following are quotes and passages from Stormie Omartian in her book "The Power of a Praying Parent")

Rejection brings out the worst in people.  Love and acceptance bring out the best. 

A person may not actually be rejected, but if he believes he is, the effect is just as damaging as if it were true.

Knowing that God loves us and accepts us changes our lives.

Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:  “I have loved you with an everlasting love;  I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

Isaiah 41:9 (NIV)

I took you from the ends of the earth,  from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;  I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

 

Romans 5:8 (NIV)

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.