What's the difference anyway?
I recently did a post on Teens and Dating - When is it ok? If you read that post you will know that we do not think young teens are emotionally, physically, spiritually or mentally mature enough to go out on dates.
When my son figured out (for the moment because I am sure he will ask us more in the future) but when he figured out that we were not giving in to him "hanging out" or going on a date to the movies with his "girl friend" he began asking about group dating. Group dating because his dad and I have told him when he is a little older that we would be ok with him going on a "group date". I explained to him that we did not mean he could group date right now - again he is only 14 - but that in the future before he is allowed to really date we would consider "group dating" with some close friends. He continued on in his asking and I began to see what it was that he thought, assumed, hoped group dating was.
To my son and probably many other young teens out there to go on a group date meant him, his girlfriend and another couple they were friends with. Huh? No, No, NO, NO! That is a DOUBLE DATE I told him. A double date is when a group of 4 friends who happen to be 2 sets of couples go out on a date.
A Group Date is when a group of friends, emotionally unattached to each other except in friendship go somewhere together and spend time as friends having fun. A group of friends that love each other as if they were brothers and sisters.
Moms, help me out here - Do you see a difference in a double date and a group date? Do you allow your children to Group Date? If so, what age did you start allowing this?
It's so nice to know that we are not the only parents being cautious about dating. :) Our son is only 13 and hasn't actually asked to date yet, but we've made it clear that at least to us, dating is serious business. I would agree that a group date involves a whole lot less pressure than a double date!
ReplyDeleteJen :)
We don't date. We teach courtship. Basically until our children are ready for marriage, they don't look at the opposite sex in anything beyond a friendship. Have you read the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh Harris. It is an excellent read and really helped my now 17 year old understand more about courting and waiting until he was ready for marriage to begin pursing young ladies.
ReplyDeleteI love your perspective, and admittedly, I didn't use to view thing quite like that. However, as I've grown older (and hopefully wiser) and been counseled by some godly women (like you, dear friend), my (and my hubby's)views have changed. Dramatically. I wish I could have a do-over for my daughter, but she, thankfully is amazing and has grown with us. I think you're on the right track in training up your boys and I'm thrilled to be walking the journey with you! <3 Beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteYes, there is a difference. Because in a double date you are dating as couples, so it becomes a date as there are no people along who AREN'T dating one another.
ReplyDeleteGroup dating, to me, is a group of people and they aren't all dating one another. There may be a couple or two but there's lots of "singles" too.
We allowed our kids to group date at 17 and just encouraged them to hang out with their friends as a group, which they did. Sometimes a girl they liked would be invited along, or sometimes she might already be part of the group of friends.
But it was a group of friends deciding to do something altogether.