A Submitted Wife

What does it mean to be a submitted wife? 


Does it mean that I am perfect?  Does it mean that I am a door mat for my husband?  Does it mean that my opinion in this thing called marriage doesn't matter?  Does it mean that my husband is more important to God in our marriage than me?  Does it mean that I never get a say in what goes on?  Is being submitted something I am made to do?

The answer to all of these questions is NO!

When my husband and I were dating and first married I was very independent (nearing the line of feminism).  I loved him but I had my own way, I didn't need help and I had an "I can do it just as well as he can" mentality.  In part I was this way because up until he and I started going out I had to be or at least I felt like I had to be but another part of me wanted to be this way.  I wanted this freedom of not having to be dependent upon anyone else. 


God never intended for us to be totally independent, not in need of help from Him or from others.  And he definitely never intended us to independent from our spouse.  God created Adam and said that it was not good for him to be alone so he created Eve - a help meet for him.  Did you notice that?  Not good for him to be alone. 

In Ephesians the Bible says that the husband is to leave his mother and father, likewise the wife also is to leave her father and mother and the two (husband and wife) shall become one.  Is it possible for us to literally become one?  Of course not.  But in God's eyes when we join ourselves in the marriage covenant with our spouse we do become as one flesh existing as two individual beings.

Now, how many of you know that just because you get married does not mean that you and your husband think alike all of the time?  Just because you are married it doesn't mean that you both all of the sudden agree on every decision that comes your way.

This my sweet friend is where submission comes into the picture.  Submission is something that a wife freely gives to her husband.  It is not something that a husband can demand or take from his wife.  Submission is an attitude of the heart that a woman chooses to give her husband.  Submission according to the Amplified version of the Bible is simply adapting yourself to your husband.

I submit to my husband because I love him, I trust him, I respect him and because God tells me to.  As wives we need to put our trust in God, step out in faith and submit to our husbands. 

Are you a Submissive Wife?


12 comments:

  1. This is something I strive for daily. I strive to be my husband's encourager, supporter, cheerleader, and companion. Happy Monday to you!!!

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    1. April, me too. I am not perfect at it but I do work hard daily to be a submissive wife. Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. This is a great post and interestingly my devotion that has gone out today ate Essential Thing Devotions is on exactly the same theme. It's a hard subject to write about as it's so countercultural. Great that you have stood up for Biblical principles.

    Linked here from The Better Mom. Blessings

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    1. Mel, thanks for your comment. You are right - it is not the norm or popular thing today but I believe it is the God thing! :)

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  3. It really is so true that some people equate submission with being a doormat. But our husbands want a partner, not a slave.

    They want to hear our voice and care about what we think, because they love us but also because they know that God can give us wisdom and speak through us as well. That is, a husband who is rightly loving his wife as the Bible teaches.

    Thanks so much for linking up to the "Making Your Home Sing Monday" linky party today! :)

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    1. Thanks Nan, you are right. Our husbands want a partner, someone to walk along side them not behind them.

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  4. I've spent a lot of time recently thinking through this topic and blogging about it. One conclusion I came to is that most of us don't really see ourselves as being unsubmissive because we don't really understand submission itself. Adapting yourself to your husband is a pretty good starting place to figuring that all out :-)

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    1. Marty, I know alot of people really look at it as the woman being lesser in the relationship but that is not it at all. I "adapt" myself because I want to because I love my husband. Thanks for your comment.

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  5. Thank you for this encouraging post. It took me close to five years to figure out how to submit to my husband, and it has made our marriage better! I'd love for you to link up your posts with us at Weekend Whatever! http://simplelivingmama.com/category/link-up God Bless!

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    1. Joanie, Only 5 years? That's pretty good. I have been married nearly 17 and I have to say it is a work in progress. Thanks for the invite. I am all linked up with you.

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  6. I loved this post! And it's a topic that is very close to my heart because it's so critical to a healthy, growing marriage. I featured it this week on the link up at Walking Redeemed. Thanks, friend!

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  7. Oh boy.. I'm am so much the very independent woman you speak of in this post. While not yet married, but soon to be, I'm learning about how to be a submissive wife. I'm just so thankful and grateful to have such a man that is so eager to take care of me, the kind of man that a lot of women I know would love to have. I keep hearing The Lord tell me that He's put this man on my life, why not let my guard down, trust God and submit? I've definitely learned that this life isn't meant to be experiences alone, and I find so much joy in this new season of life. Thank you so much for a great post! One that I so greatly needed at this moment.

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You can email me anytime at aheartformyhome(at)gmail(dot)com with comments, questions, suggestions for posts, etc..